stories of some bad ass girl

l blah l theGirl l rants l oldStuff l linkies l

Welcome to my blog.
If you have this url, you're prolly one of the chosen ones.

By reading my blog, you agree to:
Have fun reading it.
Comment only if you must.
Bear with my randomness.
Not be judgemental. Not towards me at least.

•

i miss him. this is not good. i hate feeling like a loser like this. :(

• !@#!*$!!

i've been having sooooo much problem with either the blog or the skin! everytime i tried to add new post, ended up having to fix the templates! wtf is going on?!

update at 7:57pm: He (or She?) helped me fix the problem. the template coding was fixed and updated. yippiieee! thanks Li!

• :: an update ::

meeting his family
i went to aunt annette's house this morning (or yesterday? since its midnight heheh) to see aunt aldenne. i was nervous a lil bit, not knowing what to expect. well, its not like dart is gonna be there, its just that meeting his family will remind me of him. but i had to do this out of respect. aunt aldenned wanted to see me, and i think that was really sweet of her.

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it turned out okay, i actually had fun! they're all super nice! uncle frank, aunt annette, aunt aldenne were all happy to see me again.. and guess what?! GRANDMA was there too! yea, i love this 91 year old lady who surely can cook! hahaha.. too bad i din get a chance to enjoy her cooking this time around. i told her, next year, if she comes in town again, imma make sure i eat her cooking! and she said sure.

she's so cute, she love touching my hair. everytime i see her, she always rubs my head and touches my hair. a very sweet old lady. i'm glad i get to see her once again.

3rd present
silly meano E gave me stupid presents all the time. his two previous presents were about butter! what happened was, my boss, AS, sent me an email right about she left for her vacation saying: "dont get too overwhelmed with the work, spread yourself thin like butter". the next day he gave me spreadable butter. three days later he came back to me and gave me the aluminium lid of philadelphia butter that says "butter up your boss, not your bagel!". :-P (now, dun ask me how he got all these things from.. i mean, did he really think about me that much?! huahaha)

this time around, he told me he wanted to give me another present. i had a feeling its gonna be about MM3, my dead fish. so i was a lil bit prepared for it. and there he was, giving me a ziploc bag, filled with water, and there's a canned of tuna in it. on the ziploc bag, he wrote "Mashimaro IV" and drew a fish with a plunger on its head.

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silly.

ps: for those who do not know what and who Mashimaro is. it is the name of a bunny, a character taken from a Korean anime. he loves playing with a plunger. the name mashimaro was taken from an english word: marshmallow, but it's pronounced: mashimaro. he does look like marshmallows tho'. if you happen to have free time, watch the episode of mashimaro here.

• random story

passport
lupi got her passport! yaaayyy.. first step has been taken! she's applying for a visa in october, i assume. hopefully, this time around, i can really bring her here. let her see the other side of the world (that happens to be my world). everyone in the family was kinda worried that she'd live here forever.. hahaha.. i told them not to worry about anything for now. if she holds a tourist visa, she can't stay too long. but we never know.. ;-)

motorcycle
got a text message from lupi that she got the motorcycle for mas bagus. awesome! i thought that was a really good idea of a present for my FIRST nephew. yea, my bro and his wife is gonna have a son soon, and instead of giving him some baby stuff, i chose to buy my bro a motorcycle. i was concerned cuz he had to work riding that old motorcycle of his. ya know how it is in indonesia: rainy, dusty, and lots of crazy drivers. a honda should make his life easier.

fantastic 4

saw this movie (AGAIN) last night. no no, its not because the movie was THAT good that i wanted to see again. but when i saw this movie last month at universal citywalk, i was wasted after a bbq party, so i did not remember anything. yea, that was kinda stupid, and such a waste. so anyways, got the invite 2 days ago to see this movie at WAG theatre in bev hills. as usual its free, so i went with mellany and E.

how's the movie? eeehhhhhh..
human torch is hot, the thing is cute. other than that.. its eeehhh..

Emoney
After the movie, I dropped of mel at the office garage and E at the grove. 10 mins later, E called and said that he left his BR shopping bag in my car. So he said he'd come over to pick it up. Fyi, he coulda just gone home and i can bring it to work, cuz he's coming in today. but naw, he wanted to come over, so fine.

i waited for him downstairs with his bag, but then i asked if he wanted to come up and see my fish. he said, sure! hahaha.. (it does really take two to tango! if ya know what i mean). so anyways, we ended up talking and drinking til 12:40am! nothing happened sodara sodara, so jangan cemas yak. hahaha.. thats all we did. talk and drink. but it was fun. i got to know him a lil bit better. we went up to the rooftop and stuff. i enjoyed his company. ;-)

Aunt Aldenne
dart's auntie called when i was on the way to the movie. she said she's been in town for 2 weeks, but just had a chance to call me last night. she said she's flying back to Illinois today at noon. but she wanted to see me first before she leaves. awww.. she's like my favorite aunt in dart's family.

so here i am, waking up early, so i can drive up to aunt annette's house to see aunt aldenne before i go to work. i'll post the rest of the story here later on. ciao!

and have a good weekend!

• mashimaro iii died.

yea.. i got home at 10:05pm and saw him floating while rain was just there on the corner of the tank, looking shocked (or sad?). it hurts me to see my MM3 died. i took him out of the tank with my coffee mug. went to the bathroom, tossed him in the toilet, and flushed him. im sorry mm3, imma miss you. sorry for not being a good owner. i shoulda known better when i saw that you're kinda quiet.. :(( i'm really sad, cuz i start liking my fish so much, and now one of 'em died. makes me feel like im a bad pet owner. i guess im not ready for pet yet?.. i dunno.

i then took rain out, put him in one of my food container. cleaned the tank, put new water in it, put the neutralizer in there, left it for like 20 minutes before i put rain back in. i then left for the gym. an hour later, im back at the house and rain looks fine. im glad.. but im still kinda sad about mm3.

again, bye mm3.

• us last sunday on the rooftop

• Him saying goodbye

From: EH
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 3:45 AM
To: ..gu-All
Subject: Say hi to gaming people for me!
Importance: Low

SkillJammers,

Saying good bye is hard to do. You might say it's like calculating the circumference of a Chinese walnut (Get it?). For those of you who do not already know, last Friday was my last day at SkillJam. Sing is, I have decided to leave to work on some professional projects and to take care of a few personal matters.

I really had a great three year stay here. I have worked with a niiiiice team and I have learned a lot of fantastic things. I started as a JavaScript newbie, and now I know it like the back of my hand!

You may see me in the office this week. I am still helping SkillJam with the transition of my departure. If I haven't already said good bye to you, I'm sure I will catch you Friday. If I don't catch you, just know that I enjoyed working with you all. I enjoyed it more than a vodkaholic enjoys Jesus Juice. You are all part of a talented and hard working group of people. I know that in the next few years SkillJam will become a household name like Kellogg's "Special K".

Thanks, guys. Aso solly to leave you all. I really want everyone to keep in touch (Don't tell me that could never happen!). Rule #1 is that you should always keep in touch with your friends. You can email me at imrich@********.com or drop me a doo-da-la-doo-da-la-doo-da-la-doo at 949.***.****. Perhaps someday you can assemble your crew and we can dine on pancakes at the Waffle House!

Take Luck!
E

It's all inside jokes. Classic and it's so him. So long my friend.. wish you all the best. And yes, keep in touch is a must.
ps: he stole my lines a lil bit, but its cool, i forgive him.

• New Blog New Me

Ok, this is it! My new blog.

It's wierd knowing that I created this blog because I am ready to start a new phase in my life. I will no longer cry over him. It's over, period. How much longer do I have to smack myself in the head, reminding that everything is over, WAS over, or HAS BEEN over? I may be upset every now and then, but no more crying. Done.

This is me promising to myself. I see there is no reason for me to hold on to the past like I've been doing. There's an old saying: shit happens for a reason. ;-P

so Dart, this time I really mean to say this to you: Goodbye.

and welcome my new life, my new happiness, and I'm excited!!

-trias-
-los angeles-

I've always been different growing up. My being the 3rd (middle) child might have added to it too, maybe. You know the old saying about being the middle child often has the sense of not belonging, the feeling of invisibility, which makes them try harder to get the attention from the parents to make them stand out more than the first and last child. They (read: experts and/or old people) even have it called a 'middle child syndrome'. I don't know... But yea, I grew up trying my best to annoy my parents, well, in my defense, I don't think I did it consciously. Compared to my other siblings, I wasn't the most polite child (my oldest sister was), nor the cutest (my youngest sister), and not even the worst (my brother haha!). Well, maybe I'm the second worst, which wasn't anything I should be proud of.

I grew up thinking I could do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. The sky was (and is) my limit. I was a tomboy and a bad kid too (I skipped school a lot during my junior high and finally got caught by my dad and boy did I pay much for it). I always love boys too. I know how to get them just by talking to them. I was (hopefully still is) a Miss Personality. I dated a lot. From one boy to another. I was obnoxiously flirty. My mom had (still has) problems with this "habit" of mine for liking boys so much. I always love English language. I wanted to travel overseas and spoke the universal language to anyone and everyone. I grew up knowing that if I speak English, everyone in this world would understand what I say. Make sense, right? Then I also always wanted to work in an office. I wanted to be a career woman, an independent woman who can afford anything on her own. I wanted to be bigger than the biggest.

Which isn't normal in any Indonesian culture guidebook.

By standards, an Indonesian woman is expected to be a good wife. Period. Oh yes, she can work, she can drive a car, she can play basketball, but at the end of the day, she MUST learn how to and become a good wife. Hey, first off, I'm not saying it's bad, I think it's great that a woman can be a good wife, but COME ON!! We, women, can become much more than that. We can be something bigger than that. Again, it's great to be a good wife, but when it's expected by the society, I think it's ridiculously silly. Human is human, regardless of its gender. We, women, should be allowed to have the same choices and opportunities as men, in any part of the world. Unfortunately, not in my part of the world. So yea, I'm fucked.

Before you punch me in the face for saying so, let me say this.

I tried.
No. Not just tried. I did what was expected of me as an Indonesian woman. Yes yes, I was married and did my best to be a good wife. Actually, I was a great wife. I did my best living my life by Indonesian standards. I was happy, but I turned into a different person who lived under a shadow of the person I was with. Yet, in my head, there's always this big question mark: Now what? Why do I feel lost being in this "happy" marriage? So, when the marriage fell apart, aside from feeling like the biggest failure in the face of the earth, I also felt..... relieved. Not happy, but relieved. For a few who knew me from/before the day I failed my marriage should know how devastated I was . I was broken, pathetic, lost, and pushed to the weakest point of my life. I lived in my own lonely little pathetic world (celibacy was part of it too) for a good one year.

But then I snapped out of it. HUGE thanks to my family and few of my friends who stood by me, helping me going through the worse time of my life. Kar who bought me a TV soon as I moved in to my own studio apartment. Sus who forced me to go get a vibrator to get through the celibacy time. Mel who gave me this silly book, sort of a guide, on how to be a BAD girl. Before I knew it, there I was having a buck fuddy, OK, two. ^-^

I learned my lesson the day I failed my marriage. Following the standard of a society is a good thing, but doesn't necessarily make one happy. Since then, I learned to live my life by whatever makes me happy. Sound selfish? Yes and No. It is a simple way of a person who wants to be happy. It is also my choice to make everyday a good day. To have a great time during miserable time. To be half full instead of half empty. It's my choice to laugh and not cry. To let go of hate and stop worrying so much. I learn to know that nothing, I repeat, NOTHING is a big deal. Because it doesn't matter how big of a problem I have, there's always someone else out there with a bigger problem. That's, my friend, when I know the exact meaning of "count your blessings".

Fast forward: Entering the 4th year of divorce anniversary *grinning*. Here I am. Stronger than ever. Bad ass for life. ^o^
[Monday, April 21, 2008]

Her mom and siblings and niece and nephew, movies, movies, movies, hats, unicorns, to smile and laugh, her friends, a Vinci Code, Mashimaro, manggo, black shirts, Gym, vodka-holic, tom Welling, dark chocolatte cuz its bitter, Korean language, Retro necklaces, Jeong ji-hoon, iPhones, Venice Beach, Nordstrom rack, hot guys with british accents, web design, Ebay, blogging (duh)

Pretentiousness, running (be in on a treadmill or outside), humidity, her left thumb, hypocrites, dangdut, hung-over, white shirts, tight pants, sandwich and salads, cowboy hats, black coffee, slow wifi