stories of some bad ass girl

l blah l theGirl l rants l oldStuff l linkies l

Welcome to my blog.
If you have this url, you're prolly one of the chosen ones.

By reading my blog, you agree to:
Have fun reading it.
Comment only if you must.
Bear with my randomness.
Not be judgemental. Not towards me at least.

• gratitude

It's the little things that save me; hearing my mom's voice, a cool breeze on a hot day, a quick funny text from my sisters, the smell of my new wooden dresser, Big Pimpin' song played on a radio, awakened feeling after a hot yoga practice, a blooming rose from my little plant, a long awaited text from a cute guy asking me out, the rattling sound of my window blinds overnight, that feeling of pulling out another bag off the shelf to wear for the week. Life is beautiful when we notice the little things that matter.

• helicopter ride: checked!

Thanks to meetup, yesterday I was able to do one of the many things in my bucket list.. a helicopter ride! Such an amazing experience, to say the least!

The hangar is located in Fort Meade, MD and luckily I was able to get a ride there by chipping in $5 for gas. Easy! I would hate to drive in the heat and traffic going towards Baltimore after a long morning. There were 4 of us in the car and they're all fun to talk to. We got lost couple times because she used Google Maps. I had to pull my Waze to save the day.

We got there at exactly 4pm. Signed in then mingled with a bunch of people from the group. There were about 45 people signed up. The deal was to have 3 people would in one ride at a time and with that many people coming, there was a lot of waiting and chatting with others. The food was meh. There was beer too, but no way I would drink anything other than water before a flight. Some people were very interesting to talk to, some were boring. No cute guy that caught my eye. Mostly just mingled and talked about how excited we all were to get on a ride for the first time. We took turns in taking selfies with the smaller chopper around. By the time it was my turn to fly, it was already around 6pm. I got butterflies in my stomach when I heard my name was called!

There was one black lady who walks with a cane and a guy with a hearing aid in my group ride. So when the pilot asked who would take the "best" seat in the chopper, which is the seat WITHOUT a door. Yes, ma'am. These two looked at me with puppy eyes, giving me no choice to agree to take one for the team. I figured, I only live once! Might as well do it all the way for the experience!

I got in, put on my seat belt and headset, fixed my D90 strap around my neck, and tightly held my iPhone. I don't which one I was going to use, but it's good to be prepared! And as soon as the chopper went up, I grabbed the front handle tight with my right hand. This doorless seat was no joke! I didn't dare to even lean slightly forward or to the right! haha. I kept both legs away from the edge. The headset wasn't tight enough at some point I had to let go both hands to fix it and boy... let's just say, I'll keep one hand on the handle the rest of the flight!

I was able to take videos and selfies while up there. I was going to ask the lady next to me to take pic with me, but when I turned to her, her head was down... yes, she was praying! Hahaha..

The flight was so short, but it was beyond amazing. I was smiling ear to ear the whole time. I would definitely do it again somewhere either in Vegas, NYC, or Hawaii or somewhere else and do a longer flight! It's nothing like I have experienced before.

Next weekend, inshaAllah, I'll go beach camping with the group. Let's hope it doesn't rain!

• bad book be gone!

I started reading this book last week with a nice cover and promising summary at a glance. Then I opened the first chapter. Interesting story with a fun twist at the end of the page, I must say.

The twist got me all curious though. So I thought.. maybe.. If I asked someone who's read it, I would learn if it's a good or bad book. I could potentially predict the ending too. That way, I could save myself from investing much time and effort on it.

Negative. She said it's not worth reading on. She laid it out the whats and whys.

I paused for a minute, giving the book some benefit of the doubt. Look, she may just not like the same type of books that I read. But, she is someone I trust and value her opinions on. She's not only thoughtful and fair, but is proven to be someone who looks after me.

She's my best friend after all. :)

The book was calling my name, as if pledging and trying to convince me to give it a chance. But.. I am not ready to commit to it or any book for that matter, let alone force myself to stick to a bad one. Time is precious. Before I am attached to its characters, I would rather skip through some pages, read it quick all the way to end if needed and put it down if it's not worth reading.

It turns out, I am not good at reading after all. Book or people or whatever :)

-trias-
-los angeles-

I've always been different growing up. My being the 3rd (middle) child might have added to it too, maybe. You know the old saying about being the middle child often has the sense of not belonging, the feeling of invisibility, which makes them try harder to get the attention from the parents to make them stand out more than the first and last child. They (read: experts and/or old people) even have it called a 'middle child syndrome'. I don't know... But yea, I grew up trying my best to annoy my parents, well, in my defense, I don't think I did it consciously. Compared to my other siblings, I wasn't the most polite child (my oldest sister was), nor the cutest (my youngest sister), and not even the worst (my brother haha!). Well, maybe I'm the second worst, which wasn't anything I should be proud of.

I grew up thinking I could do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. The sky was (and is) my limit. I was a tomboy and a bad kid too (I skipped school a lot during my junior high and finally got caught by my dad and boy did I pay much for it). I always love boys too. I know how to get them just by talking to them. I was (hopefully still is) a Miss Personality. I dated a lot. From one boy to another. I was obnoxiously flirty. My mom had (still has) problems with this "habit" of mine for liking boys so much. I always love English language. I wanted to travel overseas and spoke the universal language to anyone and everyone. I grew up knowing that if I speak English, everyone in this world would understand what I say. Make sense, right? Then I also always wanted to work in an office. I wanted to be a career woman, an independent woman who can afford anything on her own. I wanted to be bigger than the biggest.

Which isn't normal in any Indonesian culture guidebook.

By standards, an Indonesian woman is expected to be a good wife. Period. Oh yes, she can work, she can drive a car, she can play basketball, but at the end of the day, she MUST learn how to and become a good wife. Hey, first off, I'm not saying it's bad, I think it's great that a woman can be a good wife, but COME ON!! We, women, can become much more than that. We can be something bigger than that. Again, it's great to be a good wife, but when it's expected by the society, I think it's ridiculously silly. Human is human, regardless of its gender. We, women, should be allowed to have the same choices and opportunities as men, in any part of the world. Unfortunately, not in my part of the world. So yea, I'm fucked.

Before you punch me in the face for saying so, let me say this.

I tried.
No. Not just tried. I did what was expected of me as an Indonesian woman. Yes yes, I was married and did my best to be a good wife. Actually, I was a great wife. I did my best living my life by Indonesian standards. I was happy, but I turned into a different person who lived under a shadow of the person I was with. Yet, in my head, there's always this big question mark: Now what? Why do I feel lost being in this "happy" marriage? So, when the marriage fell apart, aside from feeling like the biggest failure in the face of the earth, I also felt..... relieved. Not happy, but relieved. For a few who knew me from/before the day I failed my marriage should know how devastated I was . I was broken, pathetic, lost, and pushed to the weakest point of my life. I lived in my own lonely little pathetic world (celibacy was part of it too) for a good one year.

But then I snapped out of it. HUGE thanks to my family and few of my friends who stood by me, helping me going through the worse time of my life. Kar who bought me a TV soon as I moved in to my own studio apartment. Sus who forced me to go get a vibrator to get through the celibacy time. Mel who gave me this silly book, sort of a guide, on how to be a BAD girl. Before I knew it, there I was having a buck fuddy, OK, two. ^-^

I learned my lesson the day I failed my marriage. Following the standard of a society is a good thing, but doesn't necessarily make one happy. Since then, I learned to live my life by whatever makes me happy. Sound selfish? Yes and No. It is a simple way of a person who wants to be happy. It is also my choice to make everyday a good day. To have a great time during miserable time. To be half full instead of half empty. It's my choice to laugh and not cry. To let go of hate and stop worrying so much. I learn to know that nothing, I repeat, NOTHING is a big deal. Because it doesn't matter how big of a problem I have, there's always someone else out there with a bigger problem. That's, my friend, when I know the exact meaning of "count your blessings".

Fast forward: Entering the 4th year of divorce anniversary *grinning*. Here I am. Stronger than ever. Bad ass for life. ^o^
[Monday, April 21, 2008]

Her mom and siblings and niece and nephew, movies, movies, movies, hats, unicorns, to smile and laugh, her friends, a Vinci Code, Mashimaro, manggo, black shirts, Gym, vodka-holic, tom Welling, dark chocolatte cuz its bitter, Korean language, Retro necklaces, Jeong ji-hoon, iPhones, Venice Beach, Nordstrom rack, hot guys with british accents, web design, Ebay, blogging (duh)

Pretentiousness, running (be in on a treadmill or outside), humidity, her left thumb, hypocrites, dangdut, hung-over, white shirts, tight pants, sandwich and salads, cowboy hats, black coffee, slow wifi