stories of some bad ass girl

Did you hear the recent news about paparazzi having fights with some local surfers because the papaz was trying to take pictures of matthew mcconaughey in paradise cove malibu? Well, ya, that's where we went yesterday for our beach sunday's picnic. No, we didn't see mcconaughey there. But I did see some familiar faces, mostly young actors that I don't bother to remember their names.

Definitely a BEAUTIFUL beach. Out of the 4 beaches we've gone to, this was my favorite by far. The only drawback was.. the crowds. What a snotty lil beach. Rich hollywood kids. They're gorgeous looking people, but man.. you could tell they're bunch of snobs. But, The beach was so pretty, I could careless about my surroundings.

We spent a good 4 hours in the sun, hence the tan on part of my arms. I hate getting tan. But we had a good time hanging out at the beach. Brandon wants to do this all summer long and asks if I'm up for it. Beach every sunday? Duuude, I like you a lot! ;)

since 10am ish this morning, I've been in an irritated mode. I feel like I'm super cranky and bitchy for no reason, which makes it more frustrating because I keep analyzing why I'm like this. Nope, not PMS, I just finished my period, unless there's another one called Post-PMS. Another excuse for women to be bitching just because haha..

what worst was.. I got so annoyed for something stupid earlier that I had a meltdown and hit the wheels of my car like a crazy mothafucka. It's nuts. Both of my coworkers were like.. trias, are you okay?

damn I was violent..

..me sending him some pictures of him from last Sunday's beach outing. I said;

You're gonna hate me for sending you these..

*drooling over your arms* ;-)
-t

Soon he replied:

Dork! But, I still luv ya! ;-)
-b

Gubrak!! ....................... then my head goes..

Did you see that? Did you see what he said??
He said the L word!
But wait.. it's "Luv".. not Lo.. well, ya know.
Should I reply and be all playful and ask "Umm did you just say the L word to me?"..??
But then.. what am I gonna say back to him? I mean, I dont know what I'm gonna say!
Plus.. I don't want my first "i love you" be said in an email!!
Oh god. Who am I kidding.
He prolly doesn't realize what he said.
I'm over analyzing this.
I should go to the gym and forget about it. I'm a dork.

:o)

If someone asks why I'm not interested in some guy, I might say he's too old. Or he's too short. Or he doesn't smell good. Or he acts weird. Or he doesn't joke enough. Or he's too this and that. But the truth of the matter is.. I only notice those things because of the real reason--that I'm just not feeling anything. But guys don't want to hear that. They always want an explanation. So I have to come up with something concrete even though feelings aren't like that. Just like when I'm with someone and it just doesn't feel right, that's when I start noticing the bad haircut or the ew breath smell or the weird laugh he makes.

But when I met a guy and I felt happy with him for whatever reason, I wouldn't give a damn what he wore or what type of car he drove or what he did for a living. When I truly care for someone, I don't look for faults. I don't look for answers. I don't look for mistakes. Instead, I fight the mistakes. I accept the faults and overlook excuses. That's what I do. Because I just want to feel happy and stay that way for as long as I can.

And it's you, who I truly care. I don't want to have to always complain of what you didn't do. I want to only look at sweet things you do for me. Because for a change, I'm feeling hopeful. I'm happy around you. And for that reason only, I said what I wanted to say. Because I want to make it work and be happy.

I woke up this morning feeling yucky and crappy because of what happened last night.
I prolly had a not so good 2 hour sleep last night, and every time I woke up I tried to reach out to you which was my way to apologize to you. I got no response. Maybe you were just asleep or you may have done it in purpose, who knows.

I was tired, had migraines, and it was hot at your place last night. It would make me feel better if I went home. Did you understand that? But looking at your reaction when I told you I wanted to go home, I know you would've been very upset, so I apologized and stayed. But what did I get? The whole night all I got to see was your back. If you ended up getting upset w/ me anyways, I might' as well have left last night. I would've gotten more hours of sleep at the very least.

I feel like we always have it your way. We leave at 1pm to the beach because thats when you want to leave. We don't have it tonight because you're tired. You can tease me all you want and I cannot. We can't spend Saturday together because you have to be somewhere else w/ your friends. You can bitch about the heat and I cannot. You can yell and be moody but when I do, you'd yell back and be moodier than me. Do you see what's happening here? Sucks to be me, huh? :)

Do you think it makes me feel good about myself knowing I really don't have much of a say in this "relationship"? I may suck at relationship but I'm a big fan of "meeting half way" and know well enough when two people try to be together, there are things that need to be compromised. I know I'm not perfect, that's why I'm willing to work on things that you don't like. There were times that I wanted to say something back on things you said to me but I didn't, instead I chose to let them go because I really am not a person who likes to argue. But how far will it take me? So here I am letting you know how I feel, trying to make it work, because I know you're worth doing my best. :)

Ok, that's all I needed to say, babe. Call me when you can. My migraine loves me so much that it stays :). I have to lay down if I want it to go away, so I am leaving work soon.

-trias

please do go away? I have enough of you since last night and desperately need you to leave now :(

My San Gennaro picture that is. This was from back in 2007 when this lady from Schmap New York found my pic on Flickr and featured it on their website. And yesterday, got me an email from them saying that it's now featured on iPhone.

purrty kewl. *bangga*

hope larry approves and is willing to pay for my school tuition. i really want to make it happen. it's about time for me to NOT have a life for the next year and only focus on my school. hehe.

Sunday, we went and spent few hours on the beach together. It was in Malibu. First outing together that doesn't involve movie nor alcohol. Pure picnic. He got to pick the place and drove us there while I was in charge of food (Cuban turkey sandwich, chicken empanadas, potato beef balls, chips, grapes and cut up watermelon and pears). We did nothing but laying out in the sun, and/or sitting on beach chair, burying our feet in the sand. Oh, and of course, eating. And I gotta say, I love love love the ocean. The waves were high. People walked around looking tan, carrying their surfboards. The sun wasn't too hot and the wind wasn't chilly either. It was.. perfect. Feels so good to be able to see the water again after so many months. And oh, I managed to steal some shots of the B boy. Fyi, he's so camera-shy he refused to see these pics I took. While I'm pretty much a.. camera-whore. Haha..

after helping me carrying stuff upstairs, he went to the dresser by his bed and pulled the very top drawer out and said "here, leave some of your stuff here for next time. its yours" and i guess he saw my eyes got so big and he said "stop it. no need to freak out" hehe.. thank you, babe.

so this morning, i left 2 undies and a shirt in "my" drawer. ;)

Allow me to brag. I mean, it's MY blog, right? haha. Ok, 2 stories about "right when I'm not looking anymore"

One, I parked my car in front of Starbucks at Farmer's Market, and there was this TALL fine ass brotha working with a laptop sipping coffee and he saw me walking towards the magazine store, he stood up, smiling ear to ear, and said "Show stopper. You know what that means, girl?" I stopped and looked up (cuz he's TALL, remember?) smiling back at him and said "huh? you're talking to me?" He nodded "It means, when you stand in the middle of the street, the traffic would stop. Thats who you are. Show-stopper" I laughed, waved him goodbye and said "Thank youuuu.."

Two, Brandon and I were about to see "The Happening" (and dont go see it, its awful). I said I could stand in line while he's parking. And this white guy in front of me started talking to me til he noticed I kept looking at the parking garage, and he asked "Are you waiting for someone?" I said "Yea, my boyfriend is parking the car" (purposely so that he could stop talking to me). He nodded and said jokingly "Of course. Girl like you, either married or got a boyfriend. Is he gonna marry you?" I laughed and said "I don't know!". He took out his wallet and pulled out a business card to hand it to me. He said "Here, I'll marry you if he won't" I laughed, and out of being nice I took the card and held it to read it before he said "Put it in your purse before your boyfriend comes and sees it!" I laughed again and that's when I felt Brandon was arriving from behind me. B asked "What are you laughing at, babe?" I pointed to the guy and said "Oh nothing, this guy............" and dude, by now, the guy was already turning around and pretending like he didn't know me at all. Haha! So when he walked away to the ticket counter, I whispered to Brandon telling him what had happened. He's smirking and said "Babe, you need to stop flirting w/ guys so much" hehe..

the end. :)

Here's what I'm making for our today's picnic. I made a few to see how it'd come out and brought it to kartini's house. Pretty good, she said.. hehe

thank you for canceling your plan

thank you for the silence during the outside mini-walk
thank you for holding me close the whole time we were in couch
thank you for not bringing it up
thank you for the "don't worry, it'll be okay" whisper

and baby, the scent of you.. it calms my heart.

I'm freaking myself out. I need to stop. This is silly..

"you are a dork! Why is that soooo cute??? I don't get it."

Because.. it means you really want me to have a copy of your key, which also means you really like me and really like having me over :o) I mean, maybe I was wrong but thats how I see it.. Hehe. And I thought you forgot about it and then I'd have to ask for it, which I won't cuz I'm shy. Haha

Let's just say.. I appreciate lil cute things you do for me. You may not realize it or get it, but yea.. I'm the type that counts my blessings. Like when you peeled and cut the pear for me last night, I thought that was cute too. Or when you don't let go of me when I try to get away from your cuddling-self. Hehe.. anyways.. I like you.

A lot.

Over the weekend, on Saturday to be exact, I lost my keys. All of them. A whole set of it. I don't remember whether I dropped it or left it somewhere. I called the Thai restaurant I had lunch at, and they didn't have it. I asked Kartini to check in the backseat of her car, the compartment, and everything, but she said nada. I was so bummed out when I told Brandon about it. But I gave up trying to figure out where and how it happened.. I'll just make another copy for the whole set.

This morning.. as I came down to the kitchen to make my coffee.. I saw Brandon left his master key on the counter for me, next to my temporary set of keys. Too.. too cute.

kita poto dong, en seperti biasa, lokasi pemotretan: Simpang Asia. Ya, we're pretty much SAW (Simpang Asia Whores). kata Lia, klo ke LA ga mampir ke SA, ibarat makan sop tanpa garem. or whatever the old saying is.

You know how the faucet doesn't work in your upstairs' bathroom that we always have to turn it on from under the sink? well guess what. Twice (maybe more), I found myself bending over to run the water before I realized I didn't need to cuz I was at my own place.

You're a lefty, hence the toilet paper on the right side of the toilet. So nowadays, I often reach to my right for toilet paper which of course is placed on the left side at my own bathroom.

Another funny thing happened this morning. I thought I smelled coffee brewing from your kitchen when I woke up. Of course it actually came from one of my neighbors'.

The worse though.. when I wake up and you're nowhere to be found.

twice.

I picked it up the 2nd time and knew.. he missed me (or more of our friendship). Well.. me too, Jon. But give me more time.. and one day, I will be able to see you again without being shaken by the thought of ~~seeing~~ you.

Lil sister of mine taught him few poses and here they are..

I just have to say.. he's an absolute cutie. Look at the last picture, ya.. he looks annoyed. Ha!

That's your superpower. You make people miss you. I think. I mean, it works on me.
Ya, I miss you already. It's ridiculous. What did you do to me? ;)

On the other hand, I miss my own place. I've been spending so much time at your place that I abandon my own. Last night when I stopped by (gosh, I even use the words "stop by". For my own place. Weirdo.) to pick up some stuff, I realize it desperately needs to be cleaned. So I must do that soon. And.. much as I love being with you, I can't wait to sleep in my own bed.

I'm not complaining, btw. I just wish my place comes with a Brandon. Hehe..

Been abandoning my place for so many weeks (thanks to brandon for keeping me busy), I finally took a lil trip to ikea with mellany last saturday. She happens to be having the same needs to get some new shelves for her place. Not much of a redo but here are the before and after pics:

BEFORE ~ ~ AFTER

CLOSE UP on the shelves

Now.. if only I could actually enjoy the new look of my own living room :)

"heya, probly going thru la tomorrow. could maybe stop by if you're free"

WHY did I stop and think? WHY? I shouldnt even have had any thought at all. I mean I said no, but... seriously, this is something I shoulda just said no RIGHT AWAY! Ugh. I can't believe myself sometimes..

Honestly, I'm broke, not super broke in a way that I can't eat, but broke enough to have to delay my Indonesia trip. I owed tax this year (ouch) and I'm still paying for my hospital bills from January (double ouch). ALSO, I was out sick for a week then, hence me having only 8 vacation days left. I could take extra non-paid days, but God knows it's impossible to go back after a vacation without a paycheck waiting. Ugh SUCKS!

Mom and Dad want me to go home during Ramadhan (which is end of September), and I do too! for the fact that I haven't celebrated Ied in Indo for 8 years already. Yet the money I have in my savings isn't enough for a ticket. It's only 3-4 months away. Yikes. So yea, realistically, I can't go home this Sept. I feel awful. I know how much everyone misses me and I miss them too. As terribly as I miss them tho, I know well enough not to force myself on this or I'll go even more broke. I just dunno how to break the news to my parents yet.

My plan is to go home once every 2 year but I always end up going almost once a year. Originally, I wasn't planning on going home this year. I was gonna travel to Ireland but I canceled it. Now, it doesn't seem like I can do any traveling at all. Let's hope I could go end of this year. If not, oh wells. What a girl could do is to wait.

Sis, if you read this, please don't tell Mom/Dad just yet. Let me do the job. ;)